I remember something someone told me a while back and it was “you don’t need to play in the pool to get wet”. The idea was that if you hang around bad people long enough, then their mannerisms, views, and opinions can rub off on you. If your relationship with certain people is centred around complaining about work, complaining about spouses, complaining about family – then this is a negative relationship.
I went to a lot of mummy groups when LO was very little and as useful as they were to forge amazing friendships and build an invaluable support network (especially through the crazy sleep-deprived months at the beginning!), it was also a huge breeding ground for whinging moany old bats who bad-mouthed their spouses for not doing enough, or moaning about work, or even their baby!
Now, I’m all for having a good whinge. I’m pretty sure I could win medals for having a good ol’ moan. But being older, I can see the negative effects it has if friendships are built on this. I like having a moan when I’m stressed and we come up with solutions. But I do feel a difference if the friendship does not bring about any solutions, and we just moan together. I walk away feeling a lot more stressed and this isn’t good for me or the other person.
I now feel strong enough to either change my ways and look after my mental health by trying to be positive. Or to simply walk away. I even downloaded an app which makes me reflect on 3 good things each day. This has honestly helped me be a bit more grateful and focus on working solutions to help others when someone needs a moan.
There’s still a lot I need to develop on this, but realising I need to change first is a great step, and the second is being strong enough make changes, not just occasionally, but every time.
The logical butterfly 